And May their Tribes Multiply
LET us revisit The Parliament of Whores with P. J. He quotes Ann Richards on George Bush : "Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
Well, Richards might have said the same about Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan , Ghulam Mustafa Jatoi , the Legharis, the Mazaris, and the like and be still bang on target. There is one difference, though. George Bush had this ability to take the silver foot out of his mouth from time to time, but the gentlemen named above can't do it because they think it wouldn't be in the national interest even to make the attempt.
Again, says P.J.: "Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah." For Pakistan , use the word blah as many times as you can-blah, blah, blah till the cows return home.
Yet again: "I don't agree with the Democrats ? What's to disagree with? They believe everything. And what they don't believe, the Republicans do. Neither of them stands for anything they believe in, anyway." Elected today, dismissed the next. References today, rapprochement the next. Good boy only in December. A big bad boy in April and all this is a matter of principle.
"Who is to blame for this grim state of electoral affairs? How about the media's fault. And members of the Press did manage-who knows how-to make the 99 election more trivial than it already was." The Kafuffle, which led to the dissolution of the Nawaz Sharif Government, was not so much as a war between the President and the Prime Minister as a battle for sheer survival between two Lahore newspapers. And the length to which they went! They put the gutter press in the rest of the world to shame.
About reporters: "Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers." Add to reporters, or columnists, analysts, leader writers and you will be closer to the truth about Pakistan . Most of us don't play by the rules, and it is a good thing 75 percent of our people can't read or write. Ignorance really is bliss in our beloved country.
"We Americans like our populism in small doses and preferably from an elitist." We like huge doses of populism but still from elitists (q.v. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto , Benazir Bhutto ).
"There was terrific Press bias against Quayle during the election; because most journalists worked harder at college than Dan did, and all it got them was jobs as journalists. A young friend of Chakwal origin and now doing newspaper work in Islamabad must be in total agreement with this.
P. J. again: "At 8:30 there was a second breakfast meeting in the Rayburn Building, this time for the executive committee of a private club on Capitol Hill where influence gets pedalled horses get traded. Logs get rolled and metaphors get tired." Any feelings of de ja vu , of having been there eleven times before? I bet you have.
"Thus in our brief history, we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one, and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold on election and assassinate their character." Like being home isn't it? We have killed a prime minister, hanged another, and dismissed or deceived the others out of office. Look at the list, beginning 1953-Khawaja Nazimuddin , Mohammad Ali Bogra , Chaudhry Mohammad Ali , I. I. Chundrigar , H. S. Suhrawardy, Feroze Khan Noon, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto , Mohammad Khan Junejo , Benazir Bhutto , and now Nawaz Sharif . The dismissed eleven. Why, they could form a cricket team of their own! And I am not counting the caretakers. But who have been the undertakers? Bureaucrats Ghulam Mohammad, Iskander Mirza , and Ghulam Ishaq Khan plus the great and good General Zia-ul-Haq . President Ayub Khan dismissed no prime minister. He had it done for him by Iskander Mirza . So take heart, Mian Sahib. You are in distinguished company.
P.J. on journalists again: "All you have to do is do to speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and he will certain that you are either telling the truth or a big lie." Now, do have I to elaborate." Don't you read your papers? The Press conferences and the Press statements? Everything they say is in the highest national interest- qaum aur watan-i-azeez ke mufad mein . I say, why don't all of us congratulate Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan ? He must be rubbing his hands in glee. Another prime minister gone. By the way, here is a bit of friendly advice to you: Never aspire for the prime ministerial job. The Nawabzada and Asghar Khan will get you, no matter how safe you play it. They are the Deadly Duo.
"From the valley of the Indus to the plateau of Iran , from the Balochistan desert to Samarkand . . . absolutely nothing is manufactured." Why should this bother the B. B., Nasrullah Khan, the Khars, and the Khans? Go, Baba Go! Come Baba, Come! Surely, this game is more interesting than hard work. No?
And, finally says P. J.: "Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellow and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any kind of indignity, perform any vile act, and do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us."
Strong words these, which will hurt many senseless sensibilities but they shouldn't because as you just read the whores are us, the Mazaris, the Legharis, the Bhuttos, and the others are not at fault. They never were and may their tribes multiply.
Friday, April 23, 1993
