Shall We Never Grow Up?

There are rumours abroad that late night parties were responsible for Pakistan 's defeat in the World Cup  semi-final against Australia .

          Among the party-throwers are said to be two industrialists, Mr. Salman Taseer , the PPP  leader, the Governor  Punjab , and finally, body Queen , Noor Jehan .

          Now, as everyone knows, these rumours are not without foundation. However, they never surfaced until Pakistan  lost that semi-final. Or as long as they were winning, the Pakistani  cricketers could be so many Casanovas and no questions asked.

          The moment they lost, all of them, except Imran  Khan, became bad guys, deserving a trial under the Hudood Ordinance . The moral of the story: For as long as you are winning, you can get away with blue murder. But God  help you the moment you lose.

          In the name of the Allah , I ask you, is not defeat part of the game? Why play if you can't face defeat? Was it the result of his boys' long night out that Imran  Khan lost the toss to Allan  Border on a shirtfront wicket? Was it because of the soiree at Noor Jehan 's that the Qadafi  Stadium wicket became so slow when Pakistan  batted that stroke-play became virtually impossible?

          When shall we grow up? It was the same side, which earlier, this year had beaten India  in India for the time in a test series. It was the same side, which won five one-day games against India in India. It was the same side, which won a test series against England  in England for the first time. It was the same side whose record of victories in one-day games, this year, has been 3-2.

          This run of luck had to end somewhere and it ended on November 4 and the nation's darlings became villains and worse overnight. Let's face it. The Australians played better that day and deserved to win.

          Another point. Everyone is grieved that Imran  Khan could not end his career by crowning it with winning the World Cup . Imran Khan  is not the only tragic hero in the history of cricket. How many runs did Bradman  make in his last test innings? How many runs did Gavaskar  make in his last World Cup innings? Bradman's last innings has long since been forgotten, but he shall be remembered for as long as cricket is played, and so shall be Imran Khan. They don't come like him every day. Shakespeare  is remembered more for his tragic heroes than for Midsummer Night's Dream .

          Still on cricket, I am grateful that the India -Pakistan  one-day at Calcutta  has been called off. Some people say it was cancelled because the two sides said the wicket was not fit for the occasion. Other reports say that the reason was that the sponsors of the game backed out at the last moment. Whatever the case, the end result was good.

          The Reliance Cup  had generated so much tension in the Sub-continent that an India -Pakistan  match would have proved the last straw for players and spectators alike, emotionally drained as they were after going through so much tension for one long month.

          Now what about the forthcoming England -Pakistan , and India -West Indies  series? I think they will be a bit of an anti-climax after so much drama. Who will want to watch test matches now? It will be sad seeing Pakistan take the field without Imran  Khan, but then all good things come to an end. But for me, personally, there's happiness in this parting. Very few cricketers in Pakistan have left the field with greater honour. Shabash , Imran Khan , and may you live long and happy.

          By the way, the Indian  astrologer, who predicted an India -Pakistan  final in the Reliance Cup , has brought astrology a bad name. Or perhaps he was in the pay of the Bombay  bookies.

Garbage Disposal :  The Lahore  Municipal Corporation has come up with a novel idea on garbage disposal. I have seen this happen at least on two streets. There's a spot on Queen 's Road, across the Civil Lines Police station and a bit further up from the Plaza Cinema, where people throw all the garbage they can.

          For many days now, I see clouds of thick black smoke billowing up on my way to office. The idea is not to remove garbage, but to burn it on the spot.

Again, round the corner to the right on Lawrence Road , there is a dustbin. Which has been turned into an open in effect. You cannot walk the rotten place without waiting to choke.

          This novel practice is a grave hazard to public health and must be stopped forthwith. And where is my friend Aitzaz Ahsan ? He should visit these two spots (and there must be several others in town) and take the LMC to court.

          In all civilised countries, civic authorities have incinerators away from populous areas, where garbage is burnt, so that there is no danger to public health. Lahore  already has the "reputation" of being one of the most polluted cities in the world. The LMC is doing nothing to get the city off this "honours list."

          Talking of pollution, city authorities have done nothing, as they promised not very long ago, to take stern action against smoking vehicles.

          Indeed, the Superintendent of Police in charge of the city traffic had warned some months ago that auto-rickshaws, with no or shorted silencers and smoking vehicles, would be impound. This threat worked for a while, at least on the Ricksahw-waalas , but they are now back to their old ways. There is absolutely no check on smoking vehicles, and if nothing is done, pedestrians in Lahore  will soon need oxygen masks to survive against deadly exhaust fumes.

          Not long ago, my six-year-old nephew was standing at the stop with his mother. Along came a bus. It wasn't the one my sister needed. When the vehicle took off (and mind you it was a government  bus), it let off a powerful volley of smoke, which caught my little nephew bang in the face and the poor thing fainted there and then.

          In any civilised country, this would have been an open and shut case of homicide, but here? Everything goes, provided you keep the Governor 's House clean and its lawns green and its flowers in bloom.

          They say here in the Punjab : Laore Laore Aye (There is no city like Lahore  in the whole wide world). Yes indeed, Laore Laore Aye , when it comes to filth, dirt, and squalor and to rank civic mismanagement. What has mayor Shujaur Rehman to show for eight years in office, except his piety? But piety, alas, does not make a pavement straight.

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Headline of the month: "We waste our time by worrying about Pakistan -Rajiv." -weekly Current , Bombay -Delhi , Oct 31. The way we are going, India  indeed shouldn't have a worry in the world.